He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize