you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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