At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
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It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
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I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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