summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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