he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
