I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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