I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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