I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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