Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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