it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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