Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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