definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
