is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
