So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
