What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
