Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize