I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
