So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
