Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
