I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
