I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have surprise drugs for everyone
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
