she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
