I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
