Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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