I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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