she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Fuck me I smell like cheese
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
