I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
