yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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