So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm bleeding and have questions
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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