Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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