So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Randomize
