Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize