i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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