the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Your penis caused this!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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