THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
