mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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