Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
