plz talk dirty to me
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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