I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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