Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
