Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
