You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
