That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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