I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize