I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
