My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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