I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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