ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
