Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
