we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
