how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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