youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
