Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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