:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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