Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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