dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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